1954-02-01 Never Follow a Banjo Act

Ethel Merman makes her only Suspense appearance as a singer in the twilight of her career. She is asked by a mob-funded agent to train a new crooner for stardom. There’s a problem: he killed his past singing partner, and that murder was covered up by the mob as an accident. His memories of that singer and his desire for her keep swirling in his memory and he has serious discerning reality and his daydreaming. He has trouble remembering where he is and who is with him, and thinks Merman’s character is the woman he murdered. He forces Merman’s character to flirt with him… and then things escalate day by day until she realizes her life is in danger, and her manager doesn’t believe her… until the crooner cracks up on stage.

One of the scenes in this play by James Poe is rather uncomfortable. It is at about 13:30 where he asks her to tousle his hair and kiss his eyes.

What does the title have to do with the storyline? “Never follow a banjo act with a banjo act” is an old vaudeville saw that helped ensure the audience was always seeing something new and that each succession of performers would not blend in with the others. In the case of this story, the first banjo act was the young crooner with a woman vocalist. They may have changed the ages from a young vocalist to one at the end of their career, but it was still the same pattern of a young male and a woman vocalist. The crooner keeps thinking it’s the same act and can’t tell the difference. The title is in opposition to the storyline, and its incongruence is what makes it an intriguing combination of title and story.

Merman sings two Broadway songs. It’s a Big Wide Wonderful World was from the 1940 production of All in Fun and Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart from the 1934 production Thumbs Up! The songs outlived their plays.

Merman was not a radio actor, and it shows. She’s reading her lines as a Broadway singer-performer who was a better singer than actor, the kind who would have leeway in their recitation of dialogue because when they burst into song their presence is so memorable. It just doesn’t work that way here.

The 1954-02-03 Variety was not impressed with the broadcast:

At about 8:22 pm on Monday, Ethel Merman gave the full treatment to Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart on the CBS Suspense which cast her as a nitery singer who got professionally mixed up with a homicidal maniac in the 25G-a-week class who tried to kill her on the cafe floor and was himself taken in tow by six men who put him on a plane headed for the hoosegow, and if it weren’t for Zing the half-hour would have been a total loss, the James Poe script, tagged Never Follow a Banjo Act being quite a study in how not to write for radio and Miss Merman herself sadly miscast in the emoting part of a show which made interesting but overplayed attempts at “smart” dialog that was encased in a show biz atmosphere but came out sappy all the way, so much so that it was about as empty as one of Auto Lite’s batteryless jobs. The only thing the power singer got out of this deal was money.

NOTE: Variety jargon: “nitery” is a night club with “night” spelled as “nite,” “hoosegow” is a prison.

This Poe story is good, and was done twice on Suspense. Obviously Lewis liked it, and so did William N. Robson when he used it in 1958. That broadcast starred Margaret Whiting and used two songs she was often had in her live performances (The Gypsy in My Soul from 1947 and Song of the Wanderer which she recorded in 1958). The Whiting broadcast is better than Merman’s, but does not give the Poe script the superior overall production it deserves.

The pianists in the broadcast are superb even though they are heard only for brief segments. Both were well-known. Walter Gross was also an established composer. It’s likely his best known composition was Tenderly which can be heard at The Internet Archive https://archive.org/details/78_tenderly_walter-gross-dave-gilbert-bob-shevak-gross-lawrence_gbia7008882b Gross had an active performing and recording career.

At the time of this broadcast, Vic Piemonte was a very popular jazz pianist in Los Angeles and other major cities. It appears that he concentrated on performing in orchestras and in jazz trios, and did not do much recording.

The drama portion of the broadcast was recorded on Saturday, January 16, 1954. Rehearsal began at 4:00pm and continued to 6:00pm. The music crew, likely with the pianists and any other essential musicians, came in at 7:00pm. Merman likely joined them to rehearse the in-drama pieces. The rest of the cast came back at 8:00pm, and full rehearsals continued until 10:30pm. Recording commenced at 10:30pm and concluded at 11:00pm.

Two recordings of this episode have survived. The Armed Forces Radio Service recording (AFRS#473) borders on exceptional, and the network recording is notable, as well. (Most circulating network recordings are in disappointing sound; this is an upgrade for most collectors). It’s a toss-up. If you want the full network treatment and the Auto-Lite charity promotion (with a prominent figure from the FDR years and the March of Dimes), choose the network recording. Neither will disappoint. The best sounding recording is the AFRS one, ignoring its missing network content and judged solely on a sound quality basis.

Ethel Merman started on Broadway in the 1930s and was known for her big voice, developed in an era where production and diction had to overcome theater building acoustic characteristics without relying on amplification. She was in theater, movies, radio, and television. Her life and career are summarized at Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethel_Merman

LISTEN TO THE PROGRAM or download in FLAC or mp3
https://archive.org/details/TSP540201

THE CAST

ETHEL MERMAN (Rosie Jones), Joseph Kearns (Ray Kramm), Paul Frees (Earl White / Voice), Shep Menken (Terry Dane), Jerry Hausner (Benny), Ben Wright (Johnson), Jess Kirkpatrick (Ray / Drunk), Larry Thor (Narrator)

COMMERCIAL: Harlow Wilcox (Announcer), unknown actor (Bob)

GUEST FOR THE AUTO-LITE CHARITY PROMOTION: Basil O’Connor, Chairman of the March of Dimes, was a confidant of FDR but declined a cabinet position. He led the Red Cross for two decades (declining any salary), and was a major figure in the fight against polio and all childhood infirmities. More information about O’Connor can be found at Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basil_O%27Connor

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1954-01-25 Want Ad

Robert Cummings stars in an E. Jack Neuman script about a cocky young man who makes a “business” of answering newspaper classified ads for furs. He goes from con job to con job, and his girlfriend likes the money and gifts she gets because of it. In his scam, he schmoozes the sellers, gets their cooperation in a fake negotiation, then pulls a gun on them to grab the goods without paying. Every day, he reads the morning newspaper classified ads section looking for a new opportunity. The ads are run by women who find they need cash and are forced to sell their expensive furs to get it. He knows who to target: these women were usually alone, reducing his risk of being caught, which makes it easy to get away.

He took a gun on his ventures. He would threaten them with it, with no intent of using it, but it was always there just in case things got out of hand. You know Cummings’ character is cold-blooded because of the way he loads his gun as the story gets underway. “One for the money…” sings in a monotone, continuing until the sixth bullet is loaded, “and six to blow… if I have to.” He’s been successful at this before, but the hold-up that starts the broadcast goes badly. After he robs the woman of the fur and is leaving, her husband arrives home, unexpectedly. There is a fight, and he pistol whips the husband into unconsciousness. He still has the fur, and has to turn it into cash. When he tries to dispose of that stolen mink coat, he learns that the husband died of injuries sustained in the attack. His regular “fence” won’t have anything to do with him or the coat because he is now sought by the police for murder. He has to get out of town, so he and his girlfriend decide to get a car through the morning want ads. It just so happens that the home they visit to buy the car is a trap. Two police officers are posing as husband and wife. They start peppering peppering them with questions, and the girlfriend is incriminated by the very fur from the home where he bludgeoned the husband. The want ad scammers were themselves scammed by a want ad.

Larry Thor is back as a policeman. The script cover from the Auto-Lite ad agency archive has him doubling as Walter, the fence. That part is clearly played by Charles Calvert, and not Thor. Someone forgot to fix the typo on the cover sheet! It is amusing that Calvert plays the beaten husband, and then reports the husband’s murder to Cummings’ character when he explains he can’t fence the fur coat.

“One for the money…” is a children’s rhyme from the early 1800s, usually recited to start a race. The rhyme ends with “and four to go,” but Cummings’ character adds a nefarious five and six as he loads the gun.

Newspaper “want ads” have basically disappeared, replaced by websites like eBay and Craigslist and also online job listings. The classified ad sections of newspapers were often the most profitable pages for newspaper owners when calculated as revenue per square inch of page. While the Internet may have reduced the desire to get news from newspapers, it was the loss of revenues from classified ads that killed their profits. (There were estimates that the gross profit margin of classified ads was 90%, and maybe even higher). The loss of those cash-cow profits created havoc with newspaper operations because none of the other revenue sources could make up for the shortfall.

The mink coat being sold in the opening of the story is valued at about $4000 retail. The wife was offered $2800 by a friend. The scammer offers $3400 (almost $40,000 in US$2024), in cash. The average US household income in 1954 was $4200, so these values of the fur coat mentioned in the dialogue were intended to make an impression on the listeners. Since fur coats were highly sought at the time, the idea of having to sell one to make ends meet meant that you were in real financial trouble.

The dramatic portion of the program was rehearsed and recorded on Sunday, January 17, 1954. Rehearsal began at 11:00am, recording began at 3:30pm, and concluded at 4:00pm.

Mrs. Cornelius Vanderbilt Whitney appeared in the commercials to support the Auto-Lite initiative to donate $100,000 to the favorite charities of 25 selected listeners. That is nearly $1.2 million in US$2024 dollars, or $48,000 per awardee. It is not clear it Whitney was live in the studio on the day of broadcast, recorded in the drama session, or recorded separately. The Vanderbilts and the Whitneys were known for their generous philanthropy. Her presence added credibility to the Auto-Lite charitable effort.

LISTEN TO THE PROGRAM or download in FLAC or mp3
https://archive.org/details/TSP540125

THE CAST

ROBERT CUMMINGS (Ralph Vernon), Mary Jane Croft (Wilma), Virginia Gregg (Frances the Policewoman), Paula Winslowe (Mrs. Phelps), Charles Calvert (Mr. Frank Phelps / Walter), Larry Thor (Policeman / Narrator)

COMMERCIAL: Harlow Wilcox (Announcer), Jerry Hausner (Cabby), unknown actor (Hudson dealer)

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1954-01-18 The Face Is Familiar

Jack Benny makes his fourth and final appearance on the Suspense series. Each of them is special in their own way. He played a piano tuner in Murder in G Flat, a bookkeeper in A Good and Faithful Servant, a Martian in Plan X, and now a salesman in this episode. 

[NOTE: This link https://suspenseproject.blogspot.com/search/label/Jack%20Benny will bring up the blogposts for all four appearances]

Part of the plot of the episode The Great Train Robbery has Fred MacMurray’s character explaining that he should carry out certain tasks because his face was so plain with forgettable features that even if his description to police was accurate, he’d look like thousands of people and witnesses would never be able to identify him with certainty.

The plot of The Face is Familiar takes that to an entirely different level. In this Arthur Ross story, mobsters choose Jack Benny’s character to carry out their plans because he is so forgettable. The concept is so marvelously funny because Benny had one of the most familiar faces in show business. His photo appeared in newspapers and magazines so often that even radio listeners had a clear mental image of what he looked like. And, a running gag on the Benny show about his memorable looks were his remarkable “beautiful baby blue eyes,” that in one broadcast were described as “bluer than the thumb of an Eskimo hitchhiker.”

In this broadcast, Jack is robbing a bank… another funny juxtaposition with his radio comedy character. On radio, Jack had his own bank vault under his Beverly Hills home. It was protected by Carmichael the Bear and Ed, the guard… and a moat! One of the most financially successful and independent show business figures acts in this script like he hasn’t a clue about what’s going on in the bank in this Suspense broadcast. It’s being robbed, and he’s doing it! He admits to it, and no one believes him!

The rehearsal for The Face is Familiar began on Sunday, January 10, 1954 at 9:00am. The recording of the drama began at 1:00pm, concluding at 1:30pm

It is claimed that CBS and Auto-Lite were not pleased with this script for Suspense, but it was already too close to the broadcast date to cancel. (Lewis had a mug on his desk that said “Where were you when the page was blank?” which drove much of his relationship with CBS and ad agency executives who questioned his acumen). Benny loved the story so much he bought the rights after the radio broadcast. His television production company, “J and M” (for “Jack and Mary”) was the producer of many television series besides his own comedy show. The highly successful anthology series General Electric Theater was just one of them.

The Face is Familiar was broadcast on General Electric Theater on 1954-11-21 as the Season 3, Episode 9 offering. Benny was not the only actor to be in both the radio and television productions. Suspense stalwart Joe Kearns played a cop in the radio play and plays the robbed teller in the television presentation. The program can be viewed at the the Internet Archive https://archive.org/details/GE_Theater_ep_The_Face_Is_Familiar and also at YouTube https://youtu.be/YPbzHQlikE8

The radio version is generally considered to be better and funnier than the TV one. But it is fun to see Benny (and Kearns) on the screen.

LISTEN TO THE PROGRAM or download in FLAC or mp3
https://archive.org/details/TSP540118

THE CAST

JACK BENNY (Tom Jones), Sheldon Leonard (Harry Edmond), Clayton Post (Joe / Man 2), Joseph Kearns (Bank Teller / Cop), Herb Butterfield (Boss), Jeane Wood (Woman in Queue), Hy Averback (Man 1 [in Queue]), Stanley Farrar (Bank Teller 2), Larry Thor (Narrator)

COMMERCIAL: Harlow Wilcox (Announcer), unknown actor (DeSoto dealer)

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